Key takeaways
- First important takeaway from the article goes here.
- Second important takeaway from the article goes here.
- Third important takeaway from the article goes here.
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Let me guess how your last ad went.
You spent a week on it. You argued about the logo placement. You hit publish.
Then you refreshed your inbox like a maniac for three days.
Nothing.
So you did what everyone does. You blamed the platform, the algorithm, the economy, Mercury being in retrograde.
Cool story. Wrong villain.
The ad was the problem. It’s almost always the ad.
I’ve written ads that bombed so hard I wanted to change my name. I’ve also written ads that paid for a vacation.
The difference between them wasn’t budget. It was a handful of decisions I kept getting wrong.
Here are eight of them. Fix these and doubling your response rate is honestly the boring outcome.
Tacos not included.
1. Nobody cares about you. Lead with their problem.
Harsh? Yes. True? Also yes.
Your customer did not wake up this morning thinking about your brand. They woke up thinking about the weird noise the dishwasher is making.
That noise is your headline. Not your company name.
Most ads open like a résumé. “Established 2009. Family-owned. Committed to excellence.”
Congratulations. So is my dentist.
Nobody stops scrolling for a résumé. They stop when they feel caught.
“Your dishwasher’s making that grinding noise again, isn’t it?”
That line makes one specific person go “…wait, how did they know?”
And that person is now reading your ad. Which is the whole point.
The first line has one job. Make the right person flinch.
Do this: Go read your last ten customer emails. Steal their complaints word for word. One of them is your headline.
Don’t do this: Puns. I know they’re fun. I know you’re proud of “Sole Mates” for your shoe store. Nobody has ever called a phone number because of a pun.
2. One offer. Not a buffet.
Here’s the ad most businesses write.
“We do roofing! And gutters! And siding! And solar! Financing available! Now with a second location!”
Reader’s brain: closes tab
You think you’re being helpful. You’re being a Cheesecake Factory menu.
Nobody makes decisions in front of a Cheesecake Factory menu. They panic and order chicken.
Pick one thing. One product. One price. One reason to care.
“But we sell twelve things!”
Great. Write twelve ads. Each one gets to be simple and each one gets to be measured.
That’s not wasteful. That’s the only way you’ll ever learn which of your twelve things people actually want.
Spoiler: it’s usually two of them.
Do this: Count the things your ad asks the reader to think about. If it’s more than one, start deleting.
Don’t do this: End a list with “…and more!” It’s the advertising equivalent of a shrug.
3. “Call anytime” means “call never”
I want you to picture the person reading your ad.
They’re on the couch. The kid is yelling. There’s a group chat blowing up. Dinner is 40% burned.
Your ad says “Contact us whenever you’re ready.”
Whenever they’re ready is never. Not because they don’t want it. Because “later” is undefeated.
So you have to beat later.
Put a date on it. “Ends September 15.”
Cap it. “First 20 callers.”
Dangle something that disappears. “Book this week, the inspection’s on me.”
Any of those turns “hmm, maybe” into a decision. Decisions are what you’re paid in.
Now, some people get squeamish here. “Isn’t urgency manipulative?”
Only if it’s fake. If the offer really does end Friday, telling people is just… being useful.
What’s actually manipulative is running “LIMITED TIME” for eleven months straight. People aren’t dumb. They notice.
Do this: Add one sentence with a real deadline to your current ad. Change nothing else. Watch.
Don’t do this: The eleven-month thing. Seriously.
4. Write to one person, not a stadium
Quick exercise.
Think of one real customer. Name, face, the thing that was bugging them when they found you.
Now write your ad to that person. Just them.
Notice what happened? Shorter sentences. Fewer adjectives. Way less “we’re proud to offer.”
That’s your voice. Keep it.
The problem with most ads is they’re written to “homeowners in the greater metro area.” A stadium.
Stadiums don’t buy things. The one person in seat 14C does.
And that person is silently asking, “Is this for me?”
When you write to everyone, the honest answer is no.
So use “you.” A lot. More than feels comfortable.
Describe the moment. “It’s Sunday, the basement’s flooding, and the first three guys you called went to voicemail.”
Whoever’s in that moment right now feels like you’re standing in the water with them.
That’s where response comes from. Not from “trusted local experts.”
Do this: Rewrite your ad as a text message to a friend who needs your thing. Compare. The text usually wins.
Don’t do this: Talk about yourself. Nobody reads an ad to learn about your dedication.
5. Prove it, or shut up about it
Every business on Earth claims to be the best.
Best service. Best prices. Best team. Best vibes.
Your reader has seen that sentence ten thousand times. Their eyes slide right off it.
Claims are free. That’s why they’re worthless.
So stop claiming. Start showing receipts.
A real customer, with a real name. “Fixed in an hour after I’d put it off for a year.” — Mark T., Beaverton.
A real number. “4,300 furnaces repaired since 2019.”
A real photo. Before and after. If I can tell it’s a stock image, so can everyone else.
Proof does the one thing claims can’t. It kills doubt.
And doubt is a silent assassin. The reader was interested. Then they wondered if you were legit. Then they were gone.
You never even knew they were there.
Every piece of evidence you add is a plank over a gap they would’ve fallen through.
Do this: Replace every adjective with a fact. “Fast” becomes “same day.” “Experienced” becomes “22 years.”
Don’t do this: Use testimonials like “Great service, would recommend!” That could be about a car wash. Or a cult.
6. Make it stupid to say no
There’s a question every reader has and none of them will ask out loud.
“What if this sucks?”
They won’t email you about it. They’ll just quietly not call.
So answer it before it comes up.
“If you’re not happy, you don’t pay.”
“First consultation is free. Zero obligation.”
“30 days. Full refund. I won’t even ask why.”
I know what you’re thinking. “People will abuse it.”
Here’s what actually happens, every single time. Response goes up. Refunds stay at roughly nobody.
People don’t want the refund. They want to know it exists.
You’re not giving away money. You’re buying the confidence they needed to dial.
And here’s the part that still surprises people. The bolder the guarantee, the higher the response.
It’s one of the most reliable relationships in advertising. Right up there with “the pun didn’t work.”
Do this: Write the scariest guarantee you could actually honor. Put it in the ad. Big.
Don’t do this: Bury it in six-point font at the bottom. If it sells, sell with it.
7. Tell them what to do. Like, exactly.
Go read the end of any ad.
“Contact us today!” “Learn more!” “Visit our website!”
Contact you how? Learn more where? Which page? Do I need a password? Is there a hold time?
Every question you leave unanswered is a reader you lose.
So be annoyingly specific.
“Call 555-0142 before Friday.”
“Text ROOF to 55123 and I’ll send a quote in 10 minutes.”
“Tap the green button. Pick a time. Done.”
One action. Said plainly. Said twice if the ad is long.
Then tell them what happens next. “We call you back within the hour. A human. Not a bot.”
That sentence matters more than anything else in this section. Nobody wants to fill out a form and get swallowed by the void.
Do this: Hand your ad to someone who’s never seen your business. Ask them what they’re supposed to do. If they pause, rewrite the ending.
Don’t do this: Phone, email, website, Instagram, carrier pigeon. Pick one. Two, tops.
8. Test like a scientist, not a gambler
Your first ad is a guess. Everyone’s first ad is a guess.
The people who win aren’t better guessers. They just keep score.
Here’s the whole method. It’s embarrassingly simple.
Change the headline. Nothing else. Run both versions.
One wins. Keep it. Now change the offer. Same deal.
Then the image. Then the close. Then the guarantee.
Every round teaches you something you couldn’t have known from your couch.
And the gains multiply. 20% on the headline times 30% on the offer times 15% on the close.
That’s not a bump. That’s doubling, and then some.
The trap is changing five things at once. You’ll see a result and have no idea why.
Also the trap: calling it after one day. Tiny samples are liars.
One variable. Enough volume to trust the answer. Next.
It’s slower than guessing. It’s also the only method that’s ever actually worked.
Do this: Take your best ad. Write three new headlines. Run all four the same week.
Don’t do this: Change the headline, the image, the offer, and the font, then wonder what happened.
Okay, now what?
Don’t do all eight tomorrow. You’ll do them badly and blame me.
Do three.
Fix the headline. Pick one offer. Slap a real deadline on it.
Those three will out-earn any budget increase you were about to approve.
Then layer in proof. Then a guarantee. Then a call to action a toddler could follow.
Then test until you die.
Doubling your response rate isn’t a hack. It’s just answering the questions your reader already has.
Who’s this for? What’s my problem? Why should I trust you? Why now? What do I do?
Answer those honestly. Get out of the way.
The phone rings. That’s it. That’s the whole trick.
P.S. If you read this whole thing and don’t change a single ad, that’s fine. But I’ll know.
P.P.S. The pun thing. I’m serious. Put it down.
